I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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