Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
either way he was missing a nipple.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
