Can i not drive my cunt home
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
