She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize