She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
