Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
