I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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