Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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