told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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