Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
