My room smells like vodka and shame
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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