then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
