i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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