I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
In other news, I just burned my penis
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
