he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
