why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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