I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Ketchup is God's man juice
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Randomize
