Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
