Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
We were destined to go to rehab together
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Randomize
