she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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