What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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