Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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