He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
