So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Randomize
