it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
