I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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