ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
