I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize