I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
