My cat gives me a boner
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize