Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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