fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
