i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
