dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
