Pregnant stripper...not hot.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Randomize
