i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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