idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
