I can feel you judging me through the phone.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
