If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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