I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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