Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
