happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
