it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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