so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
