Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
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