bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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