I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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