I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
