my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
