let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
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