This dress was meant to end up on your floor
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
