I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
