this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize