marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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