Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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