Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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