Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
it's great music for shaving your balls
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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