Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
