My hand turned me down
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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