I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
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