I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
