I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
