i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
