Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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