Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
We have so much sex to catch up on
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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