on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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