Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
