I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
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