So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
